Just don't say gay

I was searching for information about Tom Ford’s film A Single Man, his directorial debut, when I happened on this entry on Towleroad. In short, the promotional material for the film including the American trailers and the one-sheets make absolutely no reference to the fact that the lead character is gay.

Now, I don’t think every movie with a gay lead character needs to have billboards and trailers screaming GAY to the world. In the end it is going to be just a movie covering various themes and issues, amongst them homosexuality. But from what I could gather the gay theme of the movie is completely hidden in this promotional material, and I have an issue with that.

What really got to me was Tom Ford’s reaction to questions about this, one of them at a private viewing party was “But this is not a gay film. I don’t even think about that. There are so many gay characters on TV that it’s almost become a cliché.” Okay, I kind of get that, but then he went on to say this in an interview with Kevin Sessums in Advocate “I don’t think of myself as gay. That doesn’t mean that I’m not gay. I just don’t define myself by my sexuality.”

That really irks, me. I get that he is trying to say he’s moved beyond labels and all that, but we, the world at large, have not. And for a public figure like him to ignore this fact by saying he does not view himself as gay is sad and problematic. It’s like saying you don’t see race and it’s not an issue. If you don’t you need a seeing-eye dog and you need to wake up to reality, just come take a look in South Africa, race still matters a lot. And so does sexuality.

I think Tom Ford is a brilliant man, pretty smart and very creative. I do admire him, but this sounds dumb and ignorant. Perhaps he moves in circles where it is easy for him to say “I don’t think of myself as gay.” Because it does not matter, but to most of us being gay is still a pretty big deal, and not something we can ignore.

We get stares when we hold hands in public, someone recently reminded us that judgment day is coming in a shopping center. In New York State gay marriage won’t be legalized, both Democratic and Republican senators voted against it. Adam Lambert is being dissed by ABC because he shoved a guys head into his crotch onstage. Something Janet Jackson has done way back in the nineties and no one batted an eyelid. Here in South Africa where same-sex marriage is legal there was a huge outcry over a male-on-male kiss in a soap earlier this year. A Facebook group opposing the show was created, 18000 people joined. In Burundi homosexuality was criminalized this year resulting in an increase in discrimination against gay men and women.

Now, is not a time to say you don’t see yourself is gay. For whatever reason.

Another week on the web

1) A different kind of shepherd's pie. I am a Viking
2) An anniversary endive salad- congratulations Erin! The Endive Chronicles
3) Why I want to go back to Hanoi. Hanoi Scratchpad
4) A lasagna story (in Afrikaans). Voer
5) Help pick a homemade rug. Dreamesh
6) A wish list. Skunkboy Creatures
7) Support if you can the Scalabrini Refugee Centre here in Cape Town. Blog here and website here.
8) Make popicon portraits! Dos Family
9) Now this is how you sell a house (NOT!). Dlisted
10) Jeeze, not a good week to be gay in America, this sucks. CNN and LA Times

I desire- Onitsuka Tigers

I love Onitsuka Tigers. They are just the funnest footwear around. I fell in love the first time I laid my eyes upon a pair back in Taiwan, but oddly enough I've never owned any. I almost bought some last year on vacation in Kaohsiung, but I went back to the store the next morning they hadn't opened yet and so I missed my chance as we had to catch a train.

With my next paycheck (whenever that may be) I'm not risking anything and grabbing myself a pair of these Mexico 66 Onitsuka Tigers. They were the first Tigers to be introduced with the iconic stripes and were worn at the 1966 Olympic Games in Mexico City. Since it might be a while before my next proper paycheck I will not hold it against anyone who feel like splurging on a pair for me. I'm a UK size 8, thanks.

Thanksgiving Feast

As a South African Thanksgiving holiday was something I never celebrated or cared for. I did enjoy the occasional dinner back in Taiwan with American friends, but on the whole I couldn’t be bothered. After I started dating an American things didn’t really change, Alexander not being one for this particular holiday, he’s more into his Halloween and Christmas.

Last year would have been the first time for us spending Thanksgiving together in the States and I actually became quite excited about experiencing this major vacation (most of my US friends wax more lyrical about Thanksgiving than Christmas) in the US. Alexander’s sister was going to cook a proper holiday meal for us and we were going to celebrate it on the day of our arrival in LA with some of her friends. This never happened due to that unpleasant little situation at Suvarnabhumi Airport in Thailand. We spent Thanksgiving at Incheon International.

We were going to give it a skip again this year, until I got it in me that I wanted to try making turkey. Next thing I knew Alexander was inviting people, Marie was making her house available for the feast and I was standing in the kitchen with an enormous poultry cadaver while pumpkin as being roasted for pie. Fun!

Alexander suggested making a South African stuffing, so I decided to use the very SA boerewors sausage as stuffing, mixed with loads of rosemary, sautéed onion and garlic, breadcrumbs, grated carrot and dried peaches soaked overnight in brandy. I heard that one should get some of the stuffing between the skin and the breast to keep them from drying out, which is what I did. A gross process, but it made all the difference. And I even made a brandied gravy using the giblets! Yes, I cooked with giblets (flaming brandy in the kitchen and all). And it was good.

Alexander made pumpkin pie from scratch. And from scratch I mean he roasted his own pumpkins (white pumpkin and some green gem squash) and made his own pie crust. None of this store-bought nonsense for our Thanksgiving pie thank you! Don’t they look great? He used the squash seeds and all which added a beautiful texture to the pies.

Our friend Marie (who’s house I’m in love with) invited us to host it over there. She has a massive open kitchen and she pulled together two tables and all the chairs in the house to accommodate all the guests. Thanks Marie!

All the guests were asked to bring something to the Thanksgiving feast. We had peas and bacon, a potato dish, fresh beetroot and feta salad, turkey and stuffing and, my absolute favorite part of the evening, sweet potatoes and marshmallows, decadence! I had loads of the latter and took lots more home, which I stood eating in front of the fridge with a spoon the next day.

We also had lots of dessert- Alexander’s pumpkin pie, pecan pies and homemade chocolate mousse tartlets with mulberries. I forced myself to have some of all the desserts, which I guess is not very healthy but Thanksgiving only happens once so don’t judge.

We had an excellent evening and I think a very successful Thanksgiving. I think I’m going to make a habit of this, celebrating Thanksgiving every year. As long as there is an oven and turkey I’ll be having fun with this one. After all, I did marry into an American family and as a devoted husband it’s the least I could do to make their customs my own. I want to insert a smiley face here, but I won't.

Catering for Cameo

We were asked to do the catering for the opening of a friend's gallery opening yesterday. The title of his exhibit is cameo and here's what we made:

Black and white cupcakes with white and dark ganache frosting, strawberry flavored meringues- some pink and some dipped in white ganache and then topped with pink ganache, cameo chocolate wafer cookies which Alexander created, my favorites. More pictures soon.

I like the shape of this

We are currently figuring out our plans for next February/March. We decided to spend February in Taiwan again, visiting some friends, doing a bit of work and celebrating Chinese New Year there. It will be a first for Alexander. While working out the cheapest and most convenient route between South African and Taiwan Alexander discovered the following:

If we fly from Johannesburg to Bangkok and on to Taiwan, then to Kota Kinabalu on Borneo, followed by Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and then Bangkok again and back to Joburg, it would cost less than flying direct to Taiwan and back. I know, I married a flight-plan genius. So after a year of non-travel we'll be making up for lost time very early in the New Year. We haven't made up our minds 100% yet, but we're basically doing this. Like the arrow shape this plan follows too.

Cities, jungles, beaches here I come!

Another week on the web

1) A clutch won't do in Hanoi- Medusa se Blog
2) Beautiful images from a trip to Charleston- Hibernian Homme
3) Delicious Tangerine Vanilla Bean Marmalade- Prudent Baby
4) How to make fantastic nut butters- A Life (Time) of Cooking
5) Musings on Thanksgiving- Primitive Culture
6) I agree, could not care for Adam Lambert before but beginning to like him- OMG
7) Art gift ideas- Bloesem
8) Pret a Voyager's Color as Communication class project using one of my favorite films, Amelie- Pret a Voyager
9) White chocolate cake with mango and pomegranate syrup- Winos and Foodies
10) A contest for something beautiful- Mon Petit Fantome